I'm done, so very done with gray skies. They are sucking the life out of me. I want to sleep all the time, and at night i don't want to sleep, because, I need to get things done that I missed doing because the gray sky won't leave, and take with it my depression. I'm staying up too late, and sleeping in too long in the morning. I'm losing sleep, and getting too much sleep. I'm being sucked in by my dreams. I'm almost wishing I could just stay in them. Its like be pulled into the rabbit hole in Alice and Wonderland. Will it end, perhaps when I die? I need an electric shock to my brain, which seems to be empty. "Rain, rain, go away" you suck!
How had I come to believe, that the deep things of my heart and mind were not important? Who told me they didn’t care about the things I was feeling or thinking about? The truth of the matter was, that no one actually said I don’t care about what you think or feel, they just never bothered to ask. Never being asked is another way to let someone know that they are not valued. In response to some of the most important people in my life not bothering to pursue my young heart and mind, I believed I had nothing to offer or give that would be of any value to anyone else. I believed I was stupid. I heard it over and over in my heart and head with out a second of doubt of its truth. Not until my twenty sixth year did the truth that I believed about myself reveal it’s self as a lie. There were six of us who met each week, five younger women and our leader, a woman the five of us had approached to ask if she would be willing to let us learn from her and be mentored and guided ...
Comments