Yesterday, I was reading the book of first Corinthians chapter 13; it’s the chapter about love. Before I sat down to read I was feeling spiritually attacked, the attack consisted of worry, doubt, hopelessness, and discouragement with my physical self. Sometimes the struggle between me and my emotions is so intense. They are powerful things these (female) emotions. I have discovered that if you let them they will rule you. Writing about emotions is not a new thing for me, and battling it out with them is an everyday war. Ya, I think you know who, likes to use them to make me crazy and to keep me from stopping to come before God. All that said, yesterday around five pm, I collapsed on my bed with my bible and journal in hand. Why I wonder does it take us so darn long to figure out that we need to be still and give it too Christ. That He has said he will never leave us or forsake us, that He is always there wondering why we haven’t spoken with Him lately. 1 Cor. 13: 4-7 Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts . . . it always trusts . . . right there is where I got stopped. How many times do we say ya, we believe He has called us His own, and that He is always there, and that he knows the plans He has for us and He loves us. I lose control of those emotions when I fail to trust that He will provide. After awhile of a really amazing time in His presents and after clearly hearing Him say trust me. My emotions rested in that trust. I never sleep better then when I trust that He has called me His and given His Grace so abundantly.
There is a good chance that my rational thought prosess has been taken over my by my over emotional female self! The female emotions are powerful forces, and so often I grow weary of trying to keep them in check. Which I believe all women should do! The only thing that helps me most is my relationship with God and others. All that said, I do feel that female emotions are valuable, and they matter. They give us insight and understanding that often times is not based on how much we know of this world. How we feel should never be discounted or pushed aside because feeling are less important than rational thought. Rational thought is good but it doesn't trump the feelings of others. On to other thoughts, today I am tired! I have been tired for days, and I don't understand why. I have been working out three times a week, when we work out regularly aren't we suposed to gain a bit more energy? ya, that doesn't seem to be happening to me. I really hope there isn't...
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