Sometimes, in certain company I remember who I was before God changed me. I remember the things I feared and the lies I believed, not because of those people, but because of the bondage those lies had over me at the time. I remember the day I literally felt those bonds crumble and fall off of my soul, I remember where I was, and who was with me, and the prayers that were prayed over me. As those prayers were prayed I knew I wasn’t the same. I knew that I was no longer bound by the lies I had lived my life by for so long. Even though I can say this is when God changed me, I would also have to say, that the change was not complete at that moment. I distinctly remember still struggling with, and still now I struggle with the lie that I believed for so long. There are so many other lies that I have believed in the past. God truly is my hero, and protector and savor, because I can look back and see the mighty working of his spirit in my heart and mind, How he has changed those lies into the truth, that is Him. He has not given up on me, and I should not give up on who he is shaping me to be even though I’m 34, and sometimes I think stuff like “what good am I” “Maybe He can’t use me any more” “It might be better if I just die now.” When I think these things, he gets my attention and brings to mind the ways he has changed me in the past, he also says look at the process of that time, and remember what you felt within that time, remember, and know that I will bring you through it. Always remember brothers and sisters, He will bring you through it. It may not be in the way we think he will, in fact most of the time it’s not. =)
It is a blessed day, when one doesn’t have to be woken up by an alarm. The best feeling is the one where you slowly stir out of the dream and gain awareness of the place where you are. Your eyes have not yet let in the first light of the day and you lay there taking in an awaken passé of breathing. The best feeling is knowing that you don’t have to get out of bed at a rush and you don’t have to rush to the bathroom or rush to take a shower or get dressed. The best part of a day off is when you’ve worked hard the two previous days, and therefore are even more grateful to go slow and take in a day of your own speed.
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