For some time now I have set aside my hope for marriage. Every spring though I find myself once again hoping that my life might change in that direction. I once again pick up that book about love, I find myself observing couples holding hands and looking into each others eyes. I pull out the romantic chic flicks, this spring I also have been taking in those cute little popular songs written about some guy or girl who in love. As I think about this hope phenomenon that seems to acre every spring, I find it to be a breath of fresh air. To hope in this way, feels like my spirit is lighter and I sometimes even feel more whole. The power of hope is strong, and it reminds me to have faith in the fact that despite my little self who is nothing in this world, He has called me his own, and He said He would never leave me or forsake me. For some reason lately, I have doubted that He wants me as His own. Just when I start despairing into this lie, he swoops in and once again tells me to hope, to believe that His word is unbreakable and I can not be separated from Him, and He really does want me and He always will.
There is a good chance that my rational thought prosess has been taken over my by my over emotional female self! The female emotions are powerful forces, and so often I grow weary of trying to keep them in check. Which I believe all women should do! The only thing that helps me most is my relationship with God and others. All that said, I do feel that female emotions are valuable, and they matter. They give us insight and understanding that often times is not based on how much we know of this world. How we feel should never be discounted or pushed aside because feeling are less important than rational thought. Rational thought is good but it doesn't trump the feelings of others. On to other thoughts, today I am tired! I have been tired for days, and I don't understand why. I have been working out three times a week, when we work out regularly aren't we suposed to gain a bit more energy? ya, that doesn't seem to be happening to me. I really hope there isn't...
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