As I get older, I get this sense more and more that life, the one we are living right now is really quite empty. The older I get the more I am aware of the fact that I am not whole, that there are pieces of me missing. As my incompleteness weighs heavy on my mind I continue to walk through the days. The breaths I take are sometimes without relief. My desire to move to a new place throbs in my skin. Yet i feel some invisible force holding me here, at least for now. When I perceive the hold, I'm reminded of the fact that truly, I don't live where I was meant too. No matter where I go here in this place, I will always feel like leaving again, because I can never be in the place I'm really supposed to be here in this life. And so i come back to hope, mostly I live there. Though at times it dims and slips out of focus. I think that would be why we need each other, we need each others sight sometimes to see the hope, which, if I recall will be something that will remain. (Faith, hope, love)
There is a good chance that my rational thought prosess has been taken over my by my over emotional female self! The female emotions are powerful forces, and so often I grow weary of trying to keep them in check. Which I believe all women should do! The only thing that helps me most is my relationship with God and others. All that said, I do feel that female emotions are valuable, and they matter. They give us insight and understanding that often times is not based on how much we know of this world. How we feel should never be discounted or pushed aside because feeling are less important than rational thought. Rational thought is good but it doesn't trump the feelings of others. On to other thoughts, today I am tired! I have been tired for days, and I don't understand why. I have been working out three times a week, when we work out regularly aren't we suposed to gain a bit more energy? ya, that doesn't seem to be happening to me. I really hope there isn't...
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