I stood there at the foot of the stairs looking straight up. I felt the familiar feeling of vertigo hit. It was a steel gray structure and it loomed up to intimidate me. It was known as the fire tower. My knee twanged in pain just to remind me that climbing a tower of stares was maybe not the greatest of ideas. Stupid knee, I thought to myself, you’re not going to stop me from taking in the tops of those trees and hills. Slowly I began to climb, on the 4th platform of stares the structure seemed to be swaying in the breeze; slow and steady wins the race I reminded the inner dialog of my head. The sun was on its way to the ground where it sets and I stopped a few times to just take in the view around me. The top of the fire tower was red, yellow and littered with people’s messages and initials. I took pictures and stood still. Up there, it was quiet . . . except for the cicadas in the tree tops. The wind blew and tossed my hair from my face. I took in deep breaths. I felt my spirit rest with in me. This place, I thought, is good, but it’s only just a taste of the good things That God has in store for those who trust In Jesus Christ. Aahhh, How good is our God!
How had I come to believe, that the deep things of my heart and mind were not important? Who told me they didn’t care about the things I was feeling or thinking about? The truth of the matter was, that no one actually said I don’t care about what you think or feel, they just never bothered to ask. Never being asked is another way to let someone know that they are not valued. In response to some of the most important people in my life not bothering to pursue my young heart and mind, I believed I had nothing to offer or give that would be of any value to anyone else. I believed I was stupid. I heard it over and over in my heart and head with out a second of doubt of its truth. Not until my twenty sixth year did the truth that I believed about myself reveal it’s self as a lie. There were six of us who met each week, five younger women and our leader, a woman the five of us had approached to ask if she would be willing to let us learn from her and be mentored and guided ...
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