God allowed me to begin to know him at a young age. In allowing me this understanding of Him at such a young age, I have come to understand that His place in my life is the most important. No one else can compare to my God.
Even though I understand this truth I still hope to be a wife here in this life, to meet a man after Gods own heart. Not perfect, but a man who understands that God is our fullness. I want to see the spirit of god at work in his heart and life, and I want to see the beauty of that work. I long also, for that man to see that in me.
I think I met this guy a little bit ago, and we have had an opritunity to be in the same company together about a hand full of times. I am now to the conclution that I would very much like to know him a little better, and I want him to know me, because all of us of course have a very great desire to be known, first by God than by each other.
As soon as something like this a cures to me,(the part where I would like a specific guy to know me), the next thought that zips through my head is, "ya but he most likely would not want to get to know me better."
Today, I felt God saying that this is fear in me. He reminded me that I'm beautiful and I'm loved by the king. I also felt like he was telling me that I should be brave in Him. Easier said than done for me most of the time. But as always He reminds me to bring all thoughts, worries, hopes and fears to Him and he will guard my heart in Christ Jesus.
There is a good chance that my rational thought prosess has been taken over my by my over emotional female self! The female emotions are powerful forces, and so often I grow weary of trying to keep them in check. Which I believe all women should do! The only thing that helps me most is my relationship with God and others. All that said, I do feel that female emotions are valuable, and they matter. They give us insight and understanding that often times is not based on how much we know of this world. How we feel should never be discounted or pushed aside because feeling are less important than rational thought. Rational thought is good but it doesn't trump the feelings of others. On to other thoughts, today I am tired! I have been tired for days, and I don't understand why. I have been working out three times a week, when we work out regularly aren't we suposed to gain a bit more energy? ya, that doesn't seem to be happening to me. I really hope there isn't...
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