It is a blessed day, when one doesn’t have to be woken up by an alarm. The best feeling is the one where you slowly stir out of the dream and gain awareness of the place where you are. Your eyes have not yet let in the first light of the day and you lay there taking in an awaken passé of breathing. The best feeling is knowing that you don’t have to get out of bed at a rush and you don’t have to rush to the bathroom or rush to take a shower or get dressed. The best part of a day off is when you’ve worked hard the two previous days, and therefore are even more grateful to go slow and take in a day of your own speed.
How had I come to believe, that the deep things of my heart and mind were not important? Who told me they didn’t care about the things I was feeling or thinking about? The truth of the matter was, that no one actually said I don’t care about what you think or feel, they just never bothered to ask. Never being asked is another way to let someone know that they are not valued. In response to some of the most important people in my life not bothering to pursue my young heart and mind, I believed I had nothing to offer or give that would be of any value to anyone else. I believed I was stupid. I heard it over and over in my heart and head with out a second of doubt of its truth. Not until my twenty sixth year did the truth that I believed about myself reveal it’s self as a lie. There were six of us who met each week, five younger women and our leader, a woman the five of us had approached to ask if she would be willing to let us learn from her and be mentored and guided ...
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