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Misconceptions

A close friend of mine, got married last year, after being single for a while, infact in the world of people who are getting married, they would be considered older. I’m pretty sure she would say that she had a good single life before she chose to get married. We had always talked about how we would not give up the gift of singleness for just any guy. I am happy to say that the guy she married was one of my good friends, and not just any guy. He is an amazing man, gental, kind, patient and he loves God. Together they would say that marrage is not easy, it is something that you chose to do every new day, you chose to be present with your husband or wife, you chose to be patient, kind, gental, unselfish and you chose someone else over yourself everyday. They would say that it takes work.

I asked my friend after she was married what some of her miss conseptions about being married were. What she told me was good, but there were two that stuck with me. The first one was that marrage doesn’t fix things, it doesn’t some how magicly make us a better person, or fix the problems that we have. I am not sure I really thought that was true, but down deep inside, I often hoped that would be the case. The other miss conseption she had, and I am sure most single people have I know that I have thought it, is marrage has to be better then being single. My friend said, that conseption wasn’t true , and that marrage is good,but being single is also good one is not better than the other.

The words of my friend were valuable, first because she and I had been able to talk over the years, about the good parts of being single, about our hopes and dreams for marrage, we got to be single together for a time. Now I have been able to see what it is like to go from a place of being content in singleness to chosing to be married. Our conversations have also been helpful, because if I am honest I have believed those same things about marrage. I am so greatful for friends who speak truth into my life, and not because they are looking at me pointing out my miss conseptions but because they understand those miss conseptions on a personal level. I wish more single people who get married, would share their view change, it would be helpful to those of us who are still in that place. Thank you my friend for sharing, you know who you are! =)

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