Skip to main content

My soggy pillow

What ever keeps me close to you Oh God, put it in my life.  Though it hurts and aches though it wrenches my heart and soul over and over again, yet will I trust you.  At times it pulls me down under the air, I grasp for the pain to stop.  I cry out to you, soon my days and nights are ceaseless prayers that bring tears to my eyes for hours until I fall asleep only after I'm weary with struggle. Sometimes I am woken by the struggle once again, I cry out to God, and again I drench my pillow with tears, I finally fall asleep.  I'm crying out to you Oh God over and over. I guess that's good if it means that I walk so close to you, but damn, it really hurts.  Why does it take pain for us to remember to just rest and abide with you, to trust you, to talk to you, to give up the things we struggle with the most.  I'm sure that this post is a broken record, but I'm broken and there is nothing else for me but to be on my face.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Brick Wall

Oh coffee, today you are not doing much to help with the heavy eye lids threatening to ruin any chance of being productive. For days now I haven't been able to shake this brick wall of my body. I think I need a jack hammer anyone got one? If so I could use a hand pulverizing some brick.
Post a Comment
Read more

Words are Powerful

I have not the ability to speak or write elegently, though I long to share the thoughts in my head. My thoughts sometime come with strong feelings, so most often the safest place for my thoughts to be are in writing, speaking has in it an element of speed, which may cause my thoughts to be spoken with out thought. As I have learned, words spoken in haste and with strong feeling influence may be harmful even distructive. I should be one who speaks truth, but if the truth I speak is surounded by harshness and reaction, if it is not gental and thoughtful, indeed the truth may be spoken, but it may not be heard, or taken to heart. This is why it is said of “the reckless tongue”, “ It pierces like swords” Proverbs 12:18. Should I than be silent? Yes I think I should if I can not be wise in the things I say, if I do not think about what I say before I say it I should be silent. Proverbs 12 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
    but whoever hates correction is stupid.   Go...
Post a Comment
Read more

all of us

We are, all of us flawed, or under a curse of sin.  All of us!! I think it is easy to look at others and expect them to do and be what we think they should do and be. We say to ourselves in our heart, that they are the problem. We pray why won't you change them God to be what I want them to be, or why won't you make them stop doing the thing that is causing the problem or pain.  In this we forget that we could be the problem that we are flawed and cursed and we could be part of the problem. we forget to look at ourselves and consider that we are the ones who need to do and be differently. We don't consider we need to be changed because we are to busy trying to get others to be different or change.   But, we,all of us, are flawed or under a curse of sin.  Including me! I need to do and be differently to be the one who is changed!!!  I, We, are not able to change unless we seek God every minute every hour of each day.
Post a Comment
Read more