What ever keeps me close to you Oh God, put it in my life. Though it hurts and aches though it wrenches my heart and soul over and over again, yet will I trust you. At times it pulls me down under the air, I grasp for the pain to stop. I cry out to you, soon my days and nights are ceaseless prayers that bring tears to my eyes for hours until I fall asleep only after I'm weary with struggle. Sometimes I am woken by the struggle once again, I cry out to God, and again I drench my pillow with tears, I finally fall asleep. I'm crying out to you Oh God over and over. I guess that's good if it means that I walk so close to you, but damn, it really hurts. Why does it take pain for us to remember to just rest and abide with you, to trust you, to talk to you, to give up the things we struggle with the most. I'm sure that this post is a broken record, but I'm broken and there is nothing else for me but to be on my face.
It is a blessed day, when one doesn’t have to be woken up by an alarm. The best feeling is the one where you slowly stir out of the dream and gain awareness of the place where you are. Your eyes have not yet let in the first light of the day and you lay there taking in an awaken passé of breathing. The best feeling is knowing that you don’t have to get out of bed at a rush and you don’t have to rush to the bathroom or rush to take a shower or get dressed. The best part of a day off is when you’ve worked hard the two previous days, and therefore are even more grateful to go slow and take in a day of your own speed.
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